Wednesday, 27 April 2011

I am no Hercules

I am not as strong as I let on, really.  I have always been the independent, head strong, opinionated,self sufficient and gung-ho individual.  Whether as a friend, sister, wife, aunt, step mom, daughter-in-law, mom or child everyone needs someone to lean on and that someone needs to "get" you and not judge.

Some days it feels as if I am in quick sand and just fighting to be the strong one for everyone else and only when I get a free me moment do I realise I am no Hercules.  I want someone who "gets" me to be here or some where close but that isn't an option.  Not to say I don't have friends where I am because I have wonderful friends but honestly it just isn't the same as someone who you have known for years and years.  Some days I want my mom and I am not ashamed to say it.  I would love mom to be here to have a cuppa with and ramble on about nothing but that is no where in the near future.

I know no one expects me to be Hercules as I put that burden on myself but then again what woman doesn't carry that "badge?"  Aren't you someone's Hercules? Don't you carry the stress and worries of others? Especially the one's you love?

Life can sure test your marriage with family and drama and I know I always have my wonderful Prince Charming to lean on for support but sometimes you just needs the girls.  Do ya feel me?  In the past 6 months I can say without a doubt my marriage is stronger due to overcoming obstacles and becoming each other's cheerleaders - together we are as strong as Hercules.

I guess it's a plus I realised I am not Hercules and just sometimes you need a hug.  Make sure you hug the woman in your life today.

snow wife

"The best gift you can give is a hug; one size fits all and no one ever minds if you return it."
Source Unknown

Monday, 18 April 2011

When tomorrow starts without me...

Copyright © David M Romano December 1993

When tomorrow starts without me, and I'm not there to see.
If the sun should rise and find your eyes, all filled with tears for me.
I wish so much you wouldn't cry, the way you did today,
While thinking of the many things we never got to say.

I know how much you love me, as much as I love you..
And each time that you think of me, I know you'll miss me too..
But when tomorrow starts without me, Please try to understand..
An angel came and called my name and took me by the hand,
It seemed my place was ready - In Heaven far above,
and that I'd have to leave behind, those things I dearly love.

But as I turned to walk away, a tear fell from my eye.
For all of life, I'd always thought, I didn't want to die.
I had so much to live for, so much yet to do,
It seemed almost impossible, that I was leaving you..
I thought of all the yesterdays, the good ones and the bad..
I thought of all the love we shared, and how much fun we had..
If I could relive yesterday, just even for a while,
I'd say goodbye, then kiss you ‘til I saw that special smile.

But then I fully realized, that it could never be,
'Cause emptiness and memories, would take the place of me.
And when I thought of all those things, I might miss come tomorrow.
I thought of you, and when I did, my heart was filled with sorrow.  
But when I walked through Heaven's gates, I felt so much at home.
When God looked down and smiled at me, From his great & golden throne.

He said, "This is eternity, and all I've promised you.
Today your life on Earth is past, but here it starts anew.
I promise no tomorrow, but today will always last,
and since each day is the same day, there's no longing for the past.
But you have been so faithful, so trusting and so true.
Though there were some times you did some things you shouldn't do.

But you have been forgiven, and now at last you're free,
So come and take me by the hand, and share my life with me.."
So when tomorrow starts without me, don't think we're far apart.
for every time you think of me, I'll be right there - in your Heart.

In Memory of a fabulous man that I can say I am truly blessed to have known and privlleaged call him family.
Dance on sweet man. 
snow  wife

Work like you don't need the money, love like you've never been hurt and dance like no one is watching.  Randall G Leighton

Monday, 11 April 2011

Easter is right around the corner

Happy Easter 2011

Oh how I remember Easter very fondly and how special it was even though we weren't religious.
My mother would get us fancy frilly dresses, a hat or bonnet and new white shoes - it was fabulous.  Ok it was when we were little and I am was super happy when it stopped since church got old and I didn't want to be dressed up like a doll.  It was so cheesy but everyone did it and it made for great pictures right?

I did however LOVE the Easter atmosphere. The dying of hard boiled eggs and making our own designs was family time and of course no one ate the eggs we just designed them.  The plastic eggs hidden all over our backyard and house with candy and money inside; even if you had to give the younger siblings a chance to find some.  The jelly beans, peeps, plastic easter grass and plastic easter basket that eventually was a nice wicker basket as you got older = fabulous!
The honey baked ham for dinner and I don't even remember the sides, I just knew we had ham with pineapple on top.

Below are my memories of Easter and what an Easter basket is to me...Yes as we got older we got books and small gifts but not like the UK easter...

Cheesy Easter Basket

We only got 1 - thats it!

I believe Grandpa started this tradition - yum!

Everyone needs Peeps - right?

Standard Hollow Bunny

Foil Chocolate Eggs

My Favorite! Reese's PB Egg!

Easter was about hide and seek and family time with your brothers & sisters with the family dinner.

Here is the UK what I see is it is about getting cash for Easter and very large chocolate eggs from grandparents and parents
The above egg is hollow and weighs .75 pounds - it is crazy to me!

I will keep on creating special holidays as this is what I do even if it just is for me and the dwarfs and prince charming don't appreciate it - it makes me happy.

snow wife

All I really need is love, but a little chocolate now and then doesn’t hurt!
Lucy Van Pelt, “Peanuts”

Monday, 4 April 2011

Mothering Sunday

Well yesterday was Mothering Sunday here in the UK to celebrate motherhood and well since I am not a "mother" I didn't have any celebration.  Adverts were everywhere about Mothering Sunday and how much they do for you ect... I am not saying mother's don't deserve some credit but I do think stepmother's play a huge role as well if they are a good step mom.  I am there when they are upset, cry, spill stuff, give advice, wash dirty clothes and whatever else is needed.  I guess sometimes I feel like a glorified babysitter *shrug* it came with the gig.  I love my dwarfs and try to treat them as my own or how I would treat my own to be fair and have them grow up strong.   I feel like an outsider to this family and I am not privy too certain things as it is a fine line between a friend/step parents and respecting the mothers feelings even if I don't agree with everything she does and says I must still bite my tongue.

I would love to get along with the Mom and be on the same side for the sake of the dwarfs since I know I play a vital part in her kids life therefor we should be friends to say the least.  I think the dwarfs in all 2 party families should be allowed to love and acknowledge their stepparents if they so choose.  Culture is what dictates this because if it isn't shown in card shops or spoken about the dwarfs don't know - they need to be taught.

I did search to see if there was a Stepmother's day and in the US there is a national holiday the Sunday after the US Mother's day in May.  How cool is that? Had I ever really seen it? No...Had I ever really looked? No...
I have stepparents and I treat them like my regular parents and they get a card on the main holiday as they are that important to me in my life.  I do believe the US is different on that accord since I embrace my stepparents because they are there for me and have made my life better ok maybe not the first step mom as she was a crazy lunatic bitch (pardon my french).

Maybe one day stepparents will be acknowledged regularly for the role they play in someone else's children's lives. I don't see mine as a stepparents even though they came into my life as I was older but they are straight up part of my nuclear family, no doubts on that front.  I can only hope I can put this impression on the dwarfs since these are their step grandparents!

Until the day when I wake up as a woman who pushed a child out on my own, I will embrace being a step mom since I do love those dwarfs and the man who helped make them.

snow wife

A stepmother might have to rise above a little more than everyone else to make everything go smoothly and for everyone to feel comfortable. It's one of the nicest gifts they could give.
~ Elizabeth Howell