I would love to get along with the Mom and be on the same side for the sake of the dwarfs since I know I play a vital part in her kids life therefor we should be friends to say the least. I think the dwarfs in all 2 party families should be allowed to love and acknowledge their stepparents if they so choose. Culture is what dictates this because if it isn't shown in card shops or spoken about the dwarfs don't know - they need to be taught.
I did search to see if there was a Stepmother's day and in the US there is a national holiday the Sunday after the US Mother's day in May. How cool is that? Had I ever really seen it? No...Had I ever really looked? No...
I have stepparents and I treat them like my regular parents and they get a card on the main holiday as they are that important to me in my life. I do believe the US is different on that accord since I embrace my stepparents because they are there for me and have made my life better ok maybe not the first step mom as she was a crazy lunatic bitch (pardon my french).
Maybe one day stepparents will be acknowledged regularly for the role they play in someone else's children's lives. I don't see mine as a stepparents even though they came into my life as I was older but they are straight up part of my nuclear family, no doubts on that front. I can only hope I can put this impression on the dwarfs since these are their step grandparents!
Until the day when I wake up as a woman who pushed a child out on my own, I will embrace being a step mom since I do love those dwarfs and the man who helped make them.
A stepmother might have to rise above a little more than everyone else to make everything go smoothly and for everyone to feel comfortable. It's one of the nicest gifts they could give.
~ Elizabeth Howell